I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
