He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
