doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
