if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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