I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
