the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
