Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you win again, gameday.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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