I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
