Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
