She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
