half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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