Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize