I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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