I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
