I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize