Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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