So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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