you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
