guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
