I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
