he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
me + whiskey = a bad person
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
