I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize