Don't make out with my wife yet
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize