i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
