Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
