So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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