I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
