I got chris browned last night
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
