Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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