theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
