Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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