Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
