If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
