it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
