After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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