Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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