People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
