And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
