Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
