i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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