ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
