I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i will never coherently bang her
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
