a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
