oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
organizing the empties. That sober.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
