its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
