he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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