i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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