the new term for farting is butt boxing.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize