Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
