Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
