he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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