I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
