They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
