I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
