absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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