That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
