Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
