in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
