ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Girls should come with a carfax report
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
