Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
